"You've got to accentuate the positive
 Eliminate the negative
 Latch on to the affirmative
 Don't mess with Mister In-Between"
 -- Johnny Mercer

One problem with blogs about positivity, or positive thinking in general, is that they tend to sugar-coat everything. It's like the sickening sweet taste of drinking too many Slurpees. Hopefully, I don't do that and I'm sure you will let me know if I do.

It's not enough to tell people that if they just think happy thoughts that they will be happy. Certainly your disposition does have a lot to do with happiness but there's more to it.

When we found out that our 3 month-old grandson would be living with us for the foreseeable future, we had a choice. We could view this as a hassle and an interruption of our plans or we could view him as an unexpected blessing in our lives.

Russell, who is now 16 months old, has certainly changed our lives but he's a blessing beyond compare.  We raise him not because we have to but because we get to.

But you don't really become happy by singing happy songs or thinking happy thoughts do you?  It does help, but for me, I've found the following strategies to be incredibly valuable.

Focus on your strong positive moments. Every one of us has moments where we are totally real. To thy own self be true. For me, a strong positive moment happens every morning when Russell comes running into my office and gives me a big smile, looks me right in the eye, and says, "Hi Gi".  (Part of the fun of this is that we are still trying to figure out what "Gi" means.) He then touches the Certificate of Authenticity sticker on my computer and runs back into the kitchen looking for breakfast. For a moment, there is pure happiness in my life.

My thirteen year-old daughter is a black belt in karate. There have been many moments in her journey that I would call strong positive moments.  One of those occurs every time I pick her up from the dojo. At the end of class, they bow to the master, and then, they turn around and bow to their parents. When our eyes and smiles meet, I know that all is right with the world.

Be mindful of your moments and feelings. I have developed a mindfulness about these moments and I try to look for these and the feelings that they invoke in everything that I do. When I put the dog out I look at the trees and birds and my neighbor's beautiful gardens and I think how truly fortunate I am.

I know if I try to find the blessing in each moment then I will be blessed with a lot more positive moments. That's just the way it works.

Acceptance: don't sugar coat the negatives. There is a certain serenity in accepting the things, which you cannot change. Acceptance is also living in the present and in the moment so this precludes having expectations of others. Every expectation is just an opportunity for someone to disappoint you. Why set yourself up like this? Isn't it better to be surprised when someone does something remarkable. My attitude is that sometimes you have to wait for years for someone to show you their good side -- and it's usually worth the wait.

I also try to accept that human relations are complicated and the problems we face are varied. As much as we would like to have quick and easy resolutions, the reality is that it's not always possible. As H.L. Mencken said, "There's always an easy solution to every human problem: neat, plausible and wrong."

Move a muscle, change a thought. I need to work on this one. I know that when I exercise it does as much for my emotional health as it does for my physical health (even more I think). When I do get into negative or sluggish thinking, I need to remember to get on the treadmill, go for a walk or ride my bike.  

Change people, places and things. I don't know about you but for me, it's not possible to surround myself with negative or unproductive people and continue on a positive course.  This is not to say that I abandon friends in crisis -- I don't. But I won't listen to whiners, complainers,  or naysayers for long. There's a country expression, "You can't swim with the pigs without getting mud on you." 

Have a child's mind. Seriously, focus on events in your childhood that evoked strong positive emotions and feel those feelings again. You can't think your way through this. You have to lead with your heart and bring back your childhood feelings -- it can open you up again.

Sustain your positive moments.  For me, the increased awareness of positive moments has led to a more sustainable positive outlook on life. No sugarcoating here: I still battle with negative thinking, still go through tough times and, at times, still struggle with living up to these suggestions.

I find the comfortable, easy flow from one positive moment to the next to be a real change in my life. It's not all roses, but now I clearly have a stronger tilt to the positive side.